Thank you for your responses. Nest, you are so right. When I think of the shame and embarrassment and all the mornings trying to piece the night before back together..it's the worst feeling in the world. I know that it's just not worth it. What a vicious cycle. I have so many things to look forward to and things to be grateful for and this is one major problem that I have struggled with for so many years. I can't stand battling it anymore. I thank you for your support.