Feeling Low
Once again I find myself at wrk trying to care for my patients. I tell ya it doesn't help that I work with alcoholics all the damn time in the final stages of liver disease. Anyway I was sitting here starting to feel pretty low about missing my xabf and doing the what if game to myself smh. So I came to SR and started reading the classic reading honestly I didn't want to read but I knew I needed to. I went to potential and read the frog story again and that's when it occurred to me what was happening to me. I was becoming the damn frog in lukewarm water that was slowly heating up. When the xabf would disappear and didn't call to give a reason just text saying how he ****** up again. It's only gonna get worse and worse and worse. I can't say that am not gonna miss him but am missing the man who was 9 yrs sober when we meet and insightful. So back to my list the disappearing acts. I treated myself to a spinach salad and veggie nuggets for lunch so am marking that of my list bc it was a small treat for me. Needed to share am sure I will be sharing quite a bit in the near future so I can get through this and not back slide to him even though I know I won't be happy.