Troy. Whiskey is an old friend of mine as well, but don't you think you deserve better? Are you wanting to feel that same old disgusting pain? Sick stomach, pounding headache, blackout embarrassment, dehydration...regretting bad decisions... Are you purposely harming yourself? You should honor yourself. Sounds like you have your heart at the brink of a desirable path but you are holding on to an anchor that won't allow you to feel happy.
"We're our own dragons, as well as our own Heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves." -Tom Robbins