Upwardspiral

Approaching 7 weeks on Monday.

I've been meaning to start a sobriety thread for personal accountability and to reference in the future, as I've seen many others do here. Seems like a good time to get on that as I have now been sober a couple of weeks longer than any attempt I have made in the past.

I keep picturing that cave in Indiana Jones, where as he delves past deadly obstacles it becomes evident that others have not made it so far. Each time further progress is made, new unimaginable challenges await.
I have found ways to avoid the pitfalls that got me in the past, but I know I must be cultivating a new level of awareness and bravery to stay ahead of the next AV booby trap.

I'm emotionally quite low right now; and even a biological source (pms) turns my thinking negative. Most of the negativity is centered around my work, which is alternately satisfying and very frustrating. I feel it's time for a change but I have no idea where to go with this vague ambition. I'm beating myself up for not doing more with myself.

I could go on, but I'm just marking the context in which I'm attending my first AA meeting with a new group tonight. (I did two meetings in two days a few years ago, I went home and drank after both of them.) I'm determined to stay sober for good now, which wasn't the case in the past.
I'm also determined to overcome some debilitating emotional and psychological hang ups that have me stagnating in my life. Tonight, this meeting will be my effort towards change.