Is this really happening??
First, a little background: I have been married to AH for 5 years. We have two beautiful children ages 4 and 7-months. AH comes from a long line of alcoholics. When we met, he was a social drinker but I hadn't noticed that anything was a problem. After the birth of our first, I began to notice changes in him. He would go out with friends more often, was distant and short tempered. I soon began finding bottles stashed away in cabinets and dresser drawers. He admitted that he had a problem with alcohol and said he would begin AA. After many, many months of doing well and then going back to the drinking, he was finally able to get sober. I was able to relax a little.
After three years of sobriety, he relapsed. Ever since, it's been a back-and-forth battle between periods of drinking, and not drinking. Recently, he began having health problems. A trip to the ER showed that he had chronic liver disease. I was actually a little glad that he got the diagnosis. I thought, maybe now he will quit for good.
I believed he was sober as he began attending AA meetings again, he was adamant that we celebrate his 30 days, and told family members that he had been struggling with alcohol, but now is on the right track. I was hopeful for our future.
Boy was I wrong. I found several bottles in the house this week. "It was from a long time ago," " I found it when I was cleaning out the garage," "How dare you question me when I've been doing so good," he'd say. My gut dropped and at this moment I knew. I checked the bank statements, and sure enough, there we're charges from a liquor store 1-3 times a day.
This is where I'm at today. AH was completely unremorseful and even seemed upset with ME because I caught him. I've reached the point where I'm tired of him digging a hole and me having to claw the way back out. I'm tired of worrying if we can afford mortgage each month. I'm tired of worrying about him. I'm tired of having anxiety when doing the laundry because I'm scared of finding a bottle. I'm just tired. I made the decision for the well being of myself and the kids to go. I don't know how I'm going to go about this or what the future will hold. I do know that I am strong enough not to let him bring me down with him any longer.
Thoughts and advice are appreciated in advance!