I think it is human nature to gravitate to what we know even if it is bad. I know how to live in a world of pain, shame, and chaos. Living sober is a scarey place because I don't know the rules.
How do I live when lying, cheating, and stealing is no longer the way I chose to live. What does it mean to have friends and be successful?
Sobriety is uncharted territory for me and sometimes a part of me wants to go back to the hell I know because that is who I was for a very long time