The early days are not easy.
Not long ago, there was a conversation here on SR about the battle and the surrender. I'll try to find it. What helped me was not to look at surrender as losing. Instead, jumping off a sinking ship and swimming toward a steady, stable one. The swimming part is where you may be at right now, Shabby. But look at it this way: As long as we're not drinking, the hardest part is behind us.