JAD,
"I want a family. A "normal" family one day."
I can sympathize with your feelings, but cannot lend any sage advice based on first hand experience. However, perhaps I can at least provide a brief smile for a moment.
I am the father of a 23 yo female heroin addict - she is doing great.....for now. When she was in early recovery, I was a basket case and thought about / worried for her / feared for her constantly. Her fellow users were dying at at alarming rate due to overdoses of fentanyl laced heroin in our city.
I HAD to find someone outside of my family to talk with about her or just go crazy.
As it turned out, I chose my first confidant wisely. I chose this woman based on the fact that she had a young son who "went out West" a few years ago without any real explanations as to why. As it turned out, her son "went out West" for anger management issues rather than any substance abuse problems and I found out she had been married to an alcoholic before I met her.
So my lucky choice had 1) experience with addiction, 2) had been separated from her young son for a longish period of time while he got help and 3) she also has a daughter with some mental health issues - the woman is a saint dealing with her daughter every day.
This woman has a sign in her family room - smallish, kind of funky, hand painted on wood - it says.......
"Remember, everyone else thinks this is a nice, normal family!"
I'll leave you with these words:
"I know God promises not to give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much!" - Mother Teresa