K8 what an amazing post thank you I truly know where you are coming from.
A few weeks ago there was a diversion on one of the roads and it took me past a swimming pool and gym I used a lot in my late teens early twenties that's gulps 20 years ago now. It really was upsetting to think of that optimistic happy hard working person I was to the lazy depressed lonely drunk I have become.
It really hit it home my young self would be so ashamed of me now it's time to work on who I can be. I have thought a lot about how I got here and the main ingredients was shyness lack of confidence and the inability to deal with feelings. I took to drinking to a duck to water to combat them I think. Time to figure out how to cope without alcohol now.
Wow sorry for long post got a bit carried away.
Hope you all have a sober Friday early days are tough but it will be worth it.