Will this experience scar me for life??
Living with an alcoholic is the most exhausting thing I've ever done. It's so mentally and emotionally taxing. Physically in the sense I pull all the weight from yard work to dishes. But I'm scared that I'll never be able to love or trust anyone again. I've never met someone that has no regard for someone's feelings and shows complete disrespect to a woman.
I'm from the south! Not the way I was raised. My grandmother would be appalled if she knew how I was treated every minute of every day.
I want it to make me grow as a person, I've learned a lot here and in al-anon but I'm terrified of never being a "normal" person. Never being able to have a "normal" relationship because I'm going to be analyzing every move that other person makes. Does he have a drug/alcohol problem he doesn't elude to? Is he lying? Cheating? Am I not good enough for someone else? He must be crazy to want to be with me right!?
Ugh. Discouraged. I'm not saying I'm looking to replace anyone right now but I'm scared for the future. I want a family. A "normal" family one day.