Codejob
It's interesting that you brought up expectations as they relate to the 9th step. Expectations in general were a problem for me, which as you mentioned, creates resentment and creates that "poor me" attitude.
I struggled with the concept of not having expectations of others for a long time. I thought it was impossible. But I've discovered that it's not impossible. Once I realized that I was creating my own drama inside of my own head and that I had the power to stop it, things got so much better for me too! I think we create that internal drama because we get something out of it.....I'm not sure what.....but once I let go of the expectations and resentment toward others.....MY life got better. And gratitude was the key to getting there for me. Changing myself resulted in dynamic changes with others. I'm a slow learner though......took me a long time to figure it out! lol
Sounds like you have done some excellent work on you and that's a critical step in self care!
Take care of you!