You are in a very, very hard place right now.
Your story sounds so very similar to mine. The time line never added up, I could've bet my life he was high as a kite but i had negative drug tests right on my counter with him laughing in my face about what a "psycho" I was.
The crazy just never ended. I would stay up at night thinking that if i ever actually did kick him out of my life altogether, that all of these things i was juggling would all come tumbling down. My family would want better for me. My daughter's life would be uprooted. There would be essentially no turning back. All that "no contact" talk I heard was just insane to me.
Eventually, I got so hurt and so defensive and so "police" like & "mommy" like that I hated myself. I didnt want to live with me. I certainly didnt want to live with him.
The thought of leaving wasn't so bad anymore, because the craziness was THAT bad. You aren't there yet. Should the cycle continue, I imagine you will get there soon.
Be prepared for the worst and the "unthinkable." Take care of you. Seriously.