Going to the gym, doing yoga, seeing friends and doing grad work are all good things but maybe you need to dig down deeper and work on your emotional health. Have you read the book Codependent No More? Maybe a few counseling sessions or a support group like al-anon or nar-anon.
Much like the alcoholic’s are obsessed with self and alcohol codies are obsessed with self and the relationship.
An alcoholic isn’t going to get sober by just going to the gym, doing yoga and seeing friends. They will never understand or learn their addictions that way or discover the tools that can help them. Same with US we need to understand our parts, we need to learn new tools and begin to build ourselves a healthier and stronger foundation moving forward.
It’s ok to grieve and go through the many stages of grief but when we are months out of a break up having had no contact and we go back for more because we are still consumed with them and obsessively keeping them in our thoughts, it’s time for us to seek some help and learn some new tools.