Hello all,
So, I did a little YouTube video going through my experience with my addicted BF.
this is the link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4pQLgwIjXU
Since then, we broke up and he doesn't thing being with a guy is for him. Which is crazy because we had been together for over a year and when we started dating he was sober.
I've also written him a letter as a goodbye, so he knows I'm trying to let go. Not as a threat but as a form of closure.
"I know it's hard for you, but you get to be away and have something to keep your mind off of it. I'm here trying to pick up my pieces. You left, telling me you loved me and wanted to be with me and in a week changed to I don't want to be with you, without any real reason. Some of the things you said have been really hurtful. I've been hanging out with your friends in hopes that they would tell me "yeah, Daniel was not happy with you" or "he had been having doubts" but they have all just been as astonished by this as me. My mind wanders and comes up with a million scenarios as to how you could just drop me like nothing. If you truly were just over it why is it so hard to talk about it? Are you embarrassed you were with a guy for so long? That's an example of me trying to rationalize it. Everyday that passes a little more of my hope for us dies and I am left without answers. If you want me to get over this with the least amount of pain, I need to know the truth. As hurtful as the truth may be, it will solidify and explain why your feelings have changed so drastically. I need your help moving on so I can stop crying and hurting. I was a good person and at least deserve some answers."
after this I think I'm ready to let him go and I want to send a big shout out to everyone here. All the support and comments and slaps in the face with reality have helped. I will always love him... but ultimately I love myself more.
Please feel free to message me if you need any support.