Wow. I am so glad to hear you got different advice. I was starting to think I was crazy. The guy who ran the program I was part of infanticized the addicts/alcoholics and said the family had to step up time and time again, no matter what.
There was no space for us to process our feelings about what Hell we had gone through or to brainstorm the challenges we face. It was really coddling the alcoholic/addict at the Hell with the family.