As they say, misery loves company
. Thanks for sharing with me. My experience at the family program was vastly different. They really pushed cutting off the addict to save yourself. There were families there that were incredibly enmeshed, with the addict being just a kid, and the advice was always the same. Run like hell, shut the door in their face, do not allow yourself to be used or manipulated at any cost. Even if they are homeless and have to finance their own recovery after a relapse. The woman that headed up the program was the mother and ex wife of addicts, and she was brilliant in the field. I trust her advice, and was so moved by it I filed for divorce a week after finishing the program. Not to oversimplify it, because these are very complicated situations and emotions, but maybe it should be simplified. Put simply, save yourself. It doesn't mean we don't love them. Suffering their abuse time after time isn't love either. I guess they can still abuse us, even in recovery, if we allow it.