Thank you jezzebelle,
I guess it's taken me a long time to come to terms with
1) the good bits of the relationship he has with his children probably doesn't justify me staying
2) I am afraid that I will have to put them through very difficult financial circumstances as government support and maintenance won't add up to much. I was hoping he would quit and we could keep going in some semblance of normality
But I guess I really have to face up to the fact that I can't forget what he has already put us through and he's not going to change...even if he quits I'll always be looking for the empties after a row, wondering when it gets going all over again.
Thank you for the support. It really can change someone's world.