Just b/c your AH isn't "slamming your head against the wall" doesn't mean that the way he is acting and is treating you is perfectly fine.
Here's a thread from the stickies that will help you understand what abuse is, and hopefully help you see that yes, you ARE being abused.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...hat-abuse.html
There's a lot more in the stickied section titled "About Abuse"--you might find it helpful to do some reading there if you can.
If a friend told you this story, what would you say to her? "Just get over it, he's not slamming your head into the wall?" Somehow I don't think so...and that means you shouldn't say it to yourself, either, I believe. You are worth more. You deserve more. And he is an adult and is (or should be) capable of taking care of himself as well as the responsibilities of an adult.