Hes using opiates, admitted it now
I think the power of weed is nothing like opiates. I was always able to talk to my fiance, but hes all over the place now when we try to have a serious discussion. I didnt handle it like I wanted because I wasnt expecting his attitude or emotions. It started ok but I got upset and couldnt be calm. He admitted to been smoking heroin sometimes but only because he couldnt get oxycodone. From what he says is it possible a dealer would try to get him hooked on heroin more than oxy? we got into this fight and he left and is still gone. A girlfriend called me to say he was at her house and hanging out with her husband, saying he messed up and was even crying. Why would he be over there crying after screaming at me and acting arrogant like he was in control? He wasnt anything like himself the way he talked to me. I keep thinking about if hes addicted, he will try to keep us both and will come back to charm me and say he will quit. I know he wont quit heroin without help and his anxiety from before. No he needs help. I cant marry someone who has all these problems unless he can admit and dedicate to working on all of it. I dont think he will. He never would face the anxiety only used weed for it. unless it gets bad and hes on the floor I dont think he will stop, heroin is worse, stronger, and hes sucked in already. I keep saying he was stupid, and telling myself no hes been sick and needing help a long time. I was stupid to ignore it and this is now what I get. a baby who wouldnt see a doctor, taking drugs from strangers not afraid, only making it all worse. na-anon says love him unconditionally because hes sick, its hard not to be mad because its hurting me even if he doesnt mean to,
Im not sure how I feel or what to do. Im still reading at na-anon and I need to work on my boundaries now. I want him to come home and say he needs help, but I feel like its wishful thinking. I sent him one text saying I was sorry to become upset but I loved him and am scared . I will try to be calm when we talk again and for him not to be afraid to come home when hes ready.