Hope,
Hang in there and use the tools that you have learned from your program.
No one will give up on you. If we gave up on each other, no one would be here.
We all fall short of the glory. I have told my wife, it doesnt matter that you relapse, it is how you react to the relapse that counts. obviously, we dont want relapse but once it happens there is nothing you can do but react in a positive and productive way . You have, you are seeking help. Get to meetings, stay on line, get rid of the drugs.
Hugs and kisses
Jeff