To make things worse....
I'm sure I embarrased myself tonight. I let a guy take me out to get my mind off of things. Well, that ended up at the bar. He was drinking a shirly temple (non-alcoholic) and here I was, throwing down the shots with liquor in them. I don't know if that is what he had in mind when we went there. I think he was surprised that I threw a few of them back, and I surprised myself that I seemed just like those other drunks stumbling at the bar, but what he didn't know is, THAT IS ME TOO. It seems different to look at others with this problem, but it is another thing entirely to recognize myself in their shoes.
Maybe the problem is that I've admitted that I'm an addict, but never admitted the alcoholic part. I don't even know when that got out of hand...............I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING....................................just one moment I was having fun, and then, BAM, NOTHING BUT HURT, PAIN, AND SHAME.................
If you are debating whether or not to have a drink, DO NOT DO IT. You do not want this pain in your life..............................................