Originally Posted by
DitzyDandelion 
Troy whatever works for you hun. My only concern is you already feel uncomfortable with the idea. This suggests that while on paper it fills what you think you need perhaps it isn't? Only you know what your comfy with but the idea is to make you feel better with no complications and risks and yet you already feel wary and unsettled by it.
Nah, I'm mostly fine with it. It's just the fact of basically buying a human is kinda rude, isn't it? He's totally up for it though, so not sure why I'm bothered so much.
I'd give anything to have someone to love and be backed by though, you know? That's what I really want, but this life has taught me it's easier said than done. With my first marriage, I was honestly up for it, you know? That whole forever and always thing? I was up for it. Didn't matter to me how old, ugly, or fat he got, I would have honestly loved him every single day until death due us apart.
Once we moved to Europe though, he quite obviously decided differently. To make matters worse, he strung me along for years, and I was stupid enough to fall for it. He constantly said how much he loved me, he wanted forever and always, and blah blah... but his actions never accounted for it.
I was an idiot, and did stupid **** like moved myself to Malta, and flew us between Budapest to Malta, to try and salvage things. He just took it, and didn't care in the slightest. Now he apparently has some Ukranian girlfriend, so who knows. I hope she doesn't get too hurt, because there's zero chance he can sustain that relationship.
I don't know. I wish I could just go out in this world, and be the good person I am, but I can't do that. I just get taken advantage of if I do. Like it or not, we all have to keep our guard up, and that's just the way things work.