One of the hardest things for me has been the concept of "detaching with love." When I first read "Co-Dependent No More" it was a big breakthrough for me to realize that I could be kind and loving to someone WHILE detaching from them. It's a difficult balancing act, but it helped me to practice loving detachment because it alleviated the guilt I felt about detaching, whereas detaching in anger always left me feeling guilty, which in turn kept me hooked into the relationship.