I loved reading all of tie posts today Julyers
You have all given me hope and I mean that.
We do need to tackle this drinking thing above all else. At least I do, I know that.
Crois and Snooze , I do hope that you find peace and acceptance with the relationships you speak of that ended. I know how that feels. I couldn't bear the thought that it was something I did or my drinking that caused me not to be with my someone. So much so that I spent 5 years of my life waiting and basically begging for more chances. When I finally got the chance, I realized that it wasn't all me all along. He has his own huge issues and we don't even "fit" anymore. He literally made me miserable for 3 months - manipulation, mind games, double standards, blaming, dishonesty, and secrets. . But for years I was so hung up on my guilt and my fantasies of what I thought we "could" have that I didn't see reality, the red flags or the obvious issues he has. Anyway, I am grateful for the closure but I do wish I let go of it all years ago rather than waste so much time. I'm 44 and my girls are growing up. I would love to meet someone someday and after this experience I am much more clear on what I want and what I won't accept.
I guess I'm still growing up and learning
You guys are the BEST ..