Sure enough, he showed up on our doorstep yet again, last week. Same old excuses, same old lies, same old story about how he "missed us every day" and he's "sorry for being a coward and running away from everything."
This time I didn't even let him stay the night. He visited with the baby for a couple of hours, a couple of days in a row.
Then, I came home from my parent's house and he was in the apartment, hadn't called ahead, hadn't asked if he could come over, which was one of the very first criteria I gave him for how he was to behave if I was even going to think about thinking about reconciling with him.
He BROKE in, in fact, although the locks were old and you could have popped them with a credit card (which I'm sure he did). I ended up driving him clear back to get his car because there was no way in hell I was going to let him stay the night. (He left his car at the hospital, where he went because 'he got stung a bunch of times by yellowjackets or something', and then had his sister pick him up there and bring him to my place.)
The next day was my first day at my new job. I came home after an insane day to find that he had broken in AGAIN and gone through my desk, mail, lap top, and file box. He didn't really make much of an effort to hide it. He wasn't there when I got home, but he showed up at my door AGAIN not an hour afterwards, but rang the doorbell this time (makes so much sense, right?). When I wasn't overjoyed to see him, he started arguing and freaking out on me about how he had gone through the computer to "find evidence that I was F***ing someone else" and that "he knows the law". He said, "Do you really think a password is going to keep me out of the computer? You can't keep me out of this apartment." So, now we've degenerated within less than 4 days of him turning back up, straight to threats.
I kicked his ass back out again, told him that he was completely wrong about the law, but if he'd like, I could call the cops and we could see whose side they took.
Then I called the State Troopers and issued an official trespass, so if he shows up here again, I call 911 and they will come forcibly remove him from the building/grounds. I also had my land lady's maintenance guy put in nice, brand-new, sturdy locks...
The divorce is still taking longer than I anticipated, what with all the filing, refiling and waiting that has to happen because exAH has no permanent address of place of residence. (Makes it next to impossible to properly serve someone the paperwork and there are only about 3 ways that the courts will accept, all of which involve having the paperwork handed him in person...kind of hard to do when he's homeless at this point...) but I will have no hesitations about calling the cops on him if he shows back up.
I'm done making excuses for what a lousy husband and father he is. And it feels good to get to this point, because he can't manipulate or con me anymore.