I was there to Hope. I thought pregnancy would do it for me to. I felt good, was happy and by the grace of my HP I was able to abstain from the point on I described above. I hope you'll get some help, I can tell you now, it is just going to continue and that's when something truly horrible could happen if your drunk.
I will tell you this though, my daughter now 23 and son now 14 are as I mentioned healthy in all respects. HOWEVER, there has been times when my daughter or son have done idiotic irresponsible things that make no sense. I know it's because of just who they are and their unique personalities, but ya know what I always wonder, always, always and can't help but not to do so wonder if their peculiar choices, behavior was because I drank during pregnancy and as they grew up.
It's something I will live with all my life.