Doing it on your own is possible. I myself "came out" to a few too many people in the early goings and wish I'd have done things differently. That said, I'm 3 years sober so I am not complaining.
Keep in mind that you need to make changes. Big ones. Will your family notice when you stop drinking wine? Will they notice when you back out of BBQs or don't attend the wedding receptions? Will they notice when you say "no thanks" to a late night bar party? Probably. At some point, letting others know firmly, and with confidence, that you've stopped drinking alcohol is going to happen. And what's to be ashamed of?
All this said, worrying about "ifs and buts" is a common theme. It's just another way for the booze to keep you in its grip. There is never a perfect time to quit. It's not a walk in the park. You will have ups and downs. But the only other alternative is to continue down the road you are on. Again - there is never a good time to quit. The best time though, by far, is now. Go for it.