Hey bud,
Sorry you are feeling down about feeling alienated from talking with your dad.
I talk to my Gramps and Mom regularly. That only works with the folks we share our lives and innermost thoughts with and they theirs. See, I was close enough to those two that I knew what their answers would be. Of course I never talked about it, or to them, with or in front of others. Gramps inspired some songs for me to write, as did Mom. He used to make kites for me out of newspaper, glue and twine, and taught me how to soar, master of the sky, and my future.