I am so sorry. It's so painful to watch someone you love destroy their own lives by addiction.
They always think they can do it on their own. Boy have I been there and heard that! I can only say DO NOT PROCREATE with this man at this time no matter what. Add kids to the mix and it is a million times more complicated and painful, I am living it today.
Take a step back and work on you. Have you tried Alanon or Celebrate Recovery or any meetings or support for you? I credit the wonderful people at CR for seeing me through some of my darkest days. I also credit a wonderful counselor who specializes in helping families with addiction to help ME. That way, I knew no matter what happened I would be strong enough to handle what would come my way, and what decisions I had to come to. And I am.
Tight hugs to you. Keep posing at SR, you are not alone!