Thanks ultra and scooter. I love the ' I just took a 50 year bet...!'
I know I have to act on this soon. I will spend tomorrow deciding my response, I really appreciate your input.
Ultra I have to think of this as a slight hiccup. It's not the disaster I could make it out to be. It's awkward, difficult and unpleasant, but it's not a disaster, and I know I can deal with this, I just need to take time to ensure I react right. I hope Maybe that shows me how I've grown, and definitely my buddhism has helped me put perspective on things that need perspective. That's a good thing I think? This cannot be what beats me after all this time. Slight hiccup!