NoHope

Hi there. I am new here and came here because I hope to hear from others in my situation. I have done something so awful and the regret and shame is setting in now. I am 36 weeks pregnant and have had a lot to drink throughout this pregnancy. I told myself that I wouldn't and as each week went by I told myself the same thing over again. I won't drink this week. I have had at least two glasses of wine per week throughout this entire pregnancy, mostly at the same time on a Friday or Saturday night. I have had two binge episodes, one at 17 weeks and one at 33 weeks. On vacation at 33 weeks, I drank 2 glasses of wine a night for 4 nights in a row and had one night where I had four glasses. I don't know why or how I justified this to be OK. I am educated on the effects of alcohol to an unborn fetus. I know what I am doing and yet I don't stop. I can't make sense of it. I am so regretful now. I have ruined another life. This baby will be so limited and it will be because of me and my actions. How will I live with that?

I am very anxious to hear stories of others who are or have been in my situation. I am not looking for lectures, sympathy, or sentiments that everything will be OK. I just want to hear real stories. I want to hear real stories from women who have been through this and how they managed to live with themselves. I am so fearful right now.

Thanks in advance for your support and your stories.