Good morning,
My self esteem is growing for sure. Every time I go out to events I surprise myself! I've said it before, but I drank my wine thinking I needed it to loosen up and become more confident, but it only made me self conscious. One some occasions, I was more into hiding the fact that I was drunk then actually having fun. I called it my "pathetic little wine bubble", I would just sit there and not say much because I was too worried about what people would think (In reality, they probably thought I was either a snob or a total ditz!). Today, I really don't really care what people think. I have great ideas and opinions to bring into the conversation, and if people don't agree, then so be it! I am learning to have fun without the alcohol. I also seem to have more time, so I am accomplishing so much more, and that is a boost to the old self esteem. It feels great. My life was so chaotic, and it showed up in the space around me. Today, I feel more at ease and my surroundings are reflecting that. Not only the space at home, but where I find myself, and who I am with. My old life, the disordered and tense version of me is now being replaced with a more refined, confident and structured version of me. Some of my friends have all but disappeared, but I am content with the one or two that stuck around, and I find that I am happy with my new found friends!
It's going to be a hot one here today, so I am not venturing very far from the cool air conditioned house. I did promise my son a swim in the lake today, which I think I can do post lasik eye surgery if I wear my goggles, so we will be doing some swimming.
None for me today because I don't want to waste the last weeks of summer drunk or nursing a horrendous hang-over.