There would have been nothing I could have said to my step-daughter (whose mother was an alcoholic) - while I was still in the problem.
By the age of 14, unless she has been raised in the deepest jungle, she has heard plenty about the dangers of drug/alcohol abuse. And possibly knows some teens her age who have suffered consequences of use/addiction. Maybe even watched "Intervention" on TV?
What do I have to offer, today, even to those who have not begun to medicate their soul misery? Spiritual principles that address the underlying spiritual misery of any addiction/self-destructive behavior.
I don't know what is prompting your desire to talk with her about alcoholism...but I wonder if it could have something to do with the burden of being an 'imposter', and wanting to be seen in 'true form'? To find for yourself 'permission' to be openly alcoholic around her? Hiding is a burden in itself.
I could be way off base by mentioning motives I once had, but I am quite certain that your motives for desiring to speak to her are not pure ones. And likely have very little to do with helping her. A good example (you in recovery, for instance) might carry a bit more weight than "don't do as I am doing".
"The motives I tell after an action are often very different from the real ones that prompted the action in the first place." (And, oh, how I defended my "after-motives" when they were questioned.)
Another truism is that we are seldom prompted to accept help before a crisis is in play. The key for most of us alkies is that the desperation made us 'teachable'. I finally became willing to say, "My way isn't working; I'll do it your way, as you have something I want/have something I haven't tried...to get out of this mess."
If you found inner peace for yourself, and knew how you found it...you'd have something invaluable to pass on to your daughter when she was ready to ask..."how did you change? what makes you different now? why do I keep doing this same behavior over and over when I don't want to do it?"
There are countless.....countless.......recovered alcoholics who had children in sobriety who never saw them drunk. And yet, the children became addicted in some form. For me, today, the problem isn't the 'alcoholic gene', but "spiritual genetics". It is the soul misery that is passed on - alcohol is but a 'remedy' turned to for the inner pain.
There IS a Solution. I found It in AA.
All the best to you and yours,
PJ
dos 8/98
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the Light gets in.
Leonard Cohen lyrics, "Anthem"