I would need some more info before responding to this. Plus I am sort of in the leave the house category.
You said you would have to refinance. Did you check all of this out with the interest rates, and how much equity you have in the house. Do you have to split the equity in the house with the ex? What is the market like in your area? If you sold the house would you have a decent down payment for a different house? Are your children school age? Could you find another house in the same school district, which is also close to your family?
Like I said I am very jaded in this. I had a house that was 2000 sf. I was only allowed about 400 sf of it. The rest was "his" territory. I wouldn't have been able to live with that ghost. I didn't want to hear his voice anymore about what I could or couldn't do, what I could put up on the walls, ( I wasn't allowed to put holes in the walls to hang a picture. I was allowed to use the den, the garage, sometimes the bathroom, the kitchen only to cook, and sometimes my bedroom. I couldn't even use the deck, he was always out there "waiting for me". I left that house with just my clothing, and kitchen stuff. I asked about the furniture, he told me he got rid of it. I realized I wouldn't have even wanted that. I would have saw him there. (lol)
You're divorced for 2 years now, how is the house making you feel? Do you feel OK there? It is a personal choice. I just know I couldn't do it. My house was sold. I got equity of $3000 from it. Market was low. I drove past it one time, never really missed it. It was my dream house.
amy