Hi Mary,
I remember thinking that I wasn't that bad. I also remember thinking that since I didn't have bad physical withdrawals that maybe I quit too soon. My sponsor told me when listening to people share listen for the similarities and not the differences.
I have a whole lot of "yets". My bottom was 100% mental so it's easy for my mind to trick me into thinking I'm a top shelf or pro drinker. The reality is that I was just fortunate and had every opportunity to have DWI's, get arrested for drugs, hurt someone in an accident, etc... The only reason I never lost my job or family is because I have a bunch of enablers who sweep issues under the rug.
I really struggled with all of this for a couple of months. The reality is I had the obsession and craving the BB talks about. When I finally conceded to myself that I was an alkie and drinking was just not an option the relief I felt was incredible. The internal struggle was over. A true step 1 experience.
Hang in there!