My husband is an addict....questions for others who have been there...
Hi. My name is Dawn. My husband is an addict, and his DOC is cocaine. He put himself through re-hab about 3 years ago (right before we met). Actually, we started dating shortly after he was out of rehab. We have been married 3 years and I found out he has been "periodically" using for most of our marriage with people that I know and trust (my brother being one of them). Anyway, when I found out, I left him. My initial reaction was divorce. However, I did find this site and have since learned a great deal about the disease of addiction. (I am very naive when it comes to this area). I am a teacher, so research is my thing...and it has helped so much. My AH found an old friend who has been clean for 2 years and this friend was immediately willing to help him. He attended his first meeting last Sunday and has attended a different meeting every night since then. I have seen him a couple of times (we have a 2 year old daughter and I want her to see her daddy as much as possible). He wants me to attend an "open" meeting with him this weekend. I am nervous and don't know if I should or not. I wonder if he is sincere in wanting to sober up or if this is just a dog and pony show to try to get me back. I have made a decision to NOT MAKE A DECISION for 6 months. I am fortunate to have very supportive parents, who have taken my daughter and I in until I make a final decision. I guess my question is for anyone who has overcome addiction or who is trying to do so. Is it even possible for someone who is strongly addicted to cocaine (or anything for that matter) to STAY sober??? ...and what does it take? How can I be as supportive as possible with his intentions to clean up without enabling him? I want him to know that I still love and care for him, but I do NOT want him to think that everything is "fine", when it clearly isn't. I have experienced a lot of anger and hurt, but now, I mostly just feel sad for him and his problem. I cannot stay married to someone when I can't trust their words.....is it ever possible to trust the word of someone who has lied so much to cover up an addiciton?