Originally Posted by forabetterlife

I need to come back and join you all, I hope you will still have me. This past week I drank nightly and I just turned away from SR. There is no rhyme or reason. I had an afternoon to myself, I was feeling great, kids were gone, I was going to cook fro my boyfriend a was a week end decided I would drink " just a few" , "just for today". That was a week ago.

I worked all week, but gave into the lie that drinking after work would help my stress. Yesterday, for the millionth and final time, I am accepting that my 11 year on and off relationship is off and it must be for good. This part truly has nothing to do with drinking, except maybe for the fact that I allow myself to be mistreated when I am in a drinking cycle because I feel so badly about myself. I abandoned exercising daily and have been eating terribly this past week as well.

I'm embarrassed that I've been around so long and am still struggling with this, but I am not giving up. School starts Monday for my girls and for me. I need to be clear headed and on my game, present for my kids who are growing up way too fast. My oldest begins her senior year, my baby, it is mind boggling to me.

I would rather stay with all of you than join the August class as I have gotten to know many of you. I wish this wasn't so hard, and I wish even more that I didn't make it so hard on myself by having to start over time and time again.

I just needed to jump in, and come clean, because avoiding SR is always my first mistake. I know today will most likely be