I'm really going to say to listen to the people here. We have no agenda.
I remember being on that abuse website. I actually didn't think that i belonged there. It was, he wasn't that bad in certain ways, but he was a lot worse in certain ways. It's hard to explain.
Sometimes, I think it is hard to explain, hard to live with, and, hard to get out of these things.
I can't tell you much. I can only tell you that you are doing terrific. He's not. You met him while he was a drunk. You really have no ideas of what he is like sober, even if he ever gets sober.
He rages now. I thought my ex would only rage when he was drinking. I was wrong.
I do hope you stick around. I really like talking to you.
Also...... I never want you to feel isolated and like you can't talk to someone. I can't express that enough. Whether you stay or leave, I am here for you. Remember, it is all your decision. Not ours. Not anyone else's. Like I said before, I spent 27 years with this. (Well 25, took 2 years for the divorce).
I really do wish you and your H the best, but I do want you to know there is always a place to come to.
Caring about you.
amy