Lack of honesty with myself was the reason I tried and failed to find sobriety for many years. The program requires rigorous honesty, it cannot work unless you are deadly earnest with yourself and with others. There's no half measures. Going to meetings, walking (not working) the steps and having a sponsor won't get anyone sober unless you jump right in.
I still find that if I'm less than honest with myself or others I get in trouble, so the program is a life choice, its not something that is taken for 365 days and then dropped. Living by the principles which the steps engender is what I realize is the key "my sobriety is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual condition", we can't afford to drop our guard, to do so is fatal.
You will get there, persevere
