Hi Getagrip, I am so sorry you had a bad night and are now feeling miserable. I know that feeling well and it is terrifying and soul crushing.
There is simply nothing you can do about last night right now, it is done and over with. What you can do is something to change things going forward. As others have said, you will never be able to drink and not risk over-drinking and blacking out. These things WILL continue to happen if you continue to drink. They will.
Your only option is quitting drinking. We are here to help you along the way and it would be a great idea to talk to your doctor about various resources available to you there at home.
In the meantime I would highly suggest checking out the following book. It came out this year, I read it upon seeing a recommendation from a fellow member here and it is a great book that specifically touches on the issue of blacking out while drinking.
Here is an excerpt:
Blackout: Remembering The Things I Drank To Forget | Sarah Hepola