Recovered alcoholic wife and I are both diagnosed with ADHD and I can tell you that without question it made a OOOOH!, SQUIRREL! difference in both of our lives when HEY LOOK ...SHINY! we got medicated to help with it.
WANNA RIDE BIKES?
Over the past few years when I was smarter than all of you and had it figured out (cough) and was not willing to get into Al-anon I developed depression and anxiety which made the ADHD go from bad to BRB NEED TO MAKE COFFEE
worse and made it nearly impossible to complete tasks which would normally be quite easy for me.
As to the good... Professionally I work in an area where I am likely to be putting out fires with 10 different client projects in any given day while a dozen of my consultants come by my office for assistance with something, I review and edit half a dozen complex documents, prepare a presentation and then it is time for lunch. OH CRAP, FORGOT BREAKFAST
Medication-wise... Adderall was a game changer for me. I was sure my doc was nuts putting me on amphetamines - I figured I'd be bouncing off the walls but the reverse is true when you are ADHD. That first evening I sat on the floor and untangled 31 strands of Christmas lights, fixed all the broken ones and wound them on cards... without looking up once. I was smarter, lost 20 pounds and felt great. I swear if that stuff made me taller too I'd invest.
Over time it becomes less effective as you build a tolerance but there are other drugs. With an addict, amphetamine is not something you prescribe without being careful obviously. My wife had a tendency to abuse anything in the medication realm before but now follows the doc's orders and they only prescribe it 30 days at a time so if you take too much you will run out and that helps with compliance.
Wellbutrin is another possibility. Unlike most anti-depressants it doesn't make you gain weight and it does not have sexual side effects. When dealing with all the stresses we deal with on top of what typical couples face ..well without going TMI one true blessing has always been that we are 'compatible' in terms of libido and well I'll just blurt it out - if two people BOTH have ADHD and they just spent two hours producing endorphins the fun and healthy way, good luck remembering what either of you was pissed off about beforehand. Suffice it to say I was not interested in any drug that would mess that up.
For anxiety... and stimulants can certainly increase that, there are some good meds out there. Wife takes Xanax. That's easy to abuse for an alcoholic but she's always regulated that one well because she drank to calm anxiety and unlike th unlimited supply of alcohol at the liquor store, your doc prescribes Xanax 30 days at a time and if you run out you are screwed. Wife's fear of running out and having bad anxiety kept her in check even when she was early in recovery.
I was recently diagnosed with a major case of anxiety - had no idea but it's been there since about the time I joined this site. I'm taking Vistaryl which is actually an antihistimine that has some interesting anxiolytic effects and is prescribed off label to treat anxiety. It is also safe for longer term use and not something you would tend to abuse.
My usual joking aside, ADHD was really a thorn in my side. A mentor and friend at work sat me down about 4 years ago and pointed out that he knew my heart - he knew I desperately wanted to help all 50 of the consultants under me with whatever they brought me but despite the 16 hour days I could not keep up and as a result I let them down and gave the reverse impression - that I did not care.
I don't follow through well. There are certain area where I was blessed with a very powerful gift. My IQ (measure of how far I fall short of my potential!) is in the WOW range and my special gifts are a freakish ability to pull together 100 disparate pieces of information, see the pattern and the solution and at the end of a two hour client meeting I can go to the board and lay out a complex 36 month roadmap to address the issues and estimate costs within 10%.
HOWEVER... If I needed to write down an outline of it on paper, put it in an envelope, put one of those square thingies you lick and stick on it and get it to one of those mailbox things? Forget it, I'm F---ed.
It's a delicate balancing act. When controlled my ADHD and mild OCD allows me to switch topics all day and focus incredibly hard in 15 minute bursts. Over-amped I'm useless. Under-stimulated I'm bored.
One of the character defects i am working on is that I tend to focus and obsess on something until I have completely taken it apart and reconstructed it and understand every detail and how it fits in the bigger picture. The defect is that I fail to remember that those around me can't do that in 30 seconds like I can. They can run laps around me in other areas but I tend to see the complex instantly and miss the obvious entirely and I don't hide my impatience well at times. I'm also completely open to my employees correcting me and challenging my reasoning and forcing me to explain and when I'm wrong I am SO proud of them... I forget that my peers and superiors are often not like that and when you point out a mistake they get defensive and hunker down to prove they are right and it pisses me off so i tend to make them feel stupid. That's SUCH a helpful thing isn't it? Prove your point and make an enemy for life at the same time. ADHD folks have to learn to slow down and ask people questions that will allow them to see the it rather than force feeding it to them. Or like the saying goes.. you can lead a horse to water but if you try to stuff his head into the water until he drinks he's going to kick the ever loving **** out of you.
Wait... what were we discussing?
Phrase I heard recently we all need to memorize - there is no such thing as 'normal', there is only TYPICAL. In certain areas we will be typical and in others we will be above or below typical and THAT is quite normal.