Hi all =]
So... I'm new here. Stating the obvious lol. And new to recovery (AlAnon). And heck new to message boards in general. I found this site through a random Google search for something along the lines of "Relationships with alcoholics", then proceeded to stick around for a few days and read some of the gut-wrenching and hilarious ESH from you all.
A little about me: I'm in a long term live in relationship with my boyfriend of four years, who I just came to terms with acknowledging is an alcoholic about a month ago. I'm also a therapist, which makes my story all the more ironic that I know the symptoms and behaviors of addicts and codependents from the inside of my DSM, just not from within my own two eyeballs. Oh denial, what a concept! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Once I realized the drinking wasn't really about "having a bad day at work" or "my back hurts" or "I need my boy time", I googled an AlAnon group near me (I do a lot of googling if you can't tell) and my life has literally been given back to me. I've been making small improvements every day within myself, reading every day, and praying/meditating- which is just way beyond my norm of believing in "science", "evidence based practices", "diagnosing", and basically over complicating what was an over-abundant truth in my life: that I had allowed an alcoholic to steal my joy, serenity, passions, and, in dire times, my will to live.
As I was addicted to my alcoholic, I'm now becoming addicted to my program. I've connected with a sponsor and I'm attending meetings. I'm learning how to speak up, when to shut up, how to take my eyes off my alcoholic, to keep things simple, to love myself first, and to pray/meditate every. Damn. Day.
Hope to learn more from you all and to be of help where I can =]
With gratitude
-Nikki 🌻