He came home for a brief moment at almost the 48 hour mark, then blew up at me as quickly and left again. It's my attitude, of course, and the time I spend on my phone (not as much as he has in his mind) that **** hm off. I said, "you're using," and for the first time ever he didn't deny it -- just tried to shift the tables onto me.
I have given it almost everything I have to give. Our oldest is headed to college in 3 weeks -- scholarship, pre-med. We also have a sophomore and a third grader. The oldest two see it for what it is and I hate that they have had to deal with this off and on. The baby just wonders why daddy is so angry. I've sent the youngest two to my mom's for a couple of days. The oldest has to work and she and I have spent a bit of time talking about the current situation.
I just cannot even wrap my mind around how to separate or have him leave. I've made it too easy. I'm very familiar with this whole cycle and it's exhausting. I return to work Wednesday (teachers don't get 3 month summers anymore!) and I sort of welcome the distraction. I should've filed for divorce 17-18 years ago like mnh1982... Oh, well. I can't rewind.
Thanks for your input. Prayers for all of us this afternoon.