Originally Posted by
chloebaby 
I am just not sure what to do. I am so confused.
It seems to me that it's really not all that confusing - it can certainly be scary, but there's a very clear solution to your problems.
Action on your part is the solution. Either by going to AA and making a concerted effort to make it work, or going into rehab - or both. Why not give the rehab a call yourself or visit it to see what it is like? If that one is not an option for whatever reason and you cannot get into another for 30 days, do you honestly think you can stop drinking during that time with the help of AA? Maybe you can - and AA is free so you could find out today.
No matter what program or rehab you choose, be aware that all of them will require you to do things that you don't want to do. They call it "rehab" because it's designed to change the way you live your life, and your addiction isn't going to like that one bit. But the new way of life is far better than the old...so it's definitely worth it.