Jarp, you have worked so hard on this I am sorry for your pain. I want to give you some advice though. Dont pay interest on borrowed worry. Nothing has happened yet and it may not. So, don't worry about a maybe. Worry about what is right now.
As a child of divorce who worshipped my dad I wish he had disappeared rather than deal with the active rejection I faced every Sunday during visitation like I did. It was soul crushing.
You do the best you can. You are a great mom and an awesome example for your kids. If and when the time comes you and the kids do therapy together and separately. You will all be fine.