Bluebird I'm late putting in my two cents but I know just how you feel! I beat myself up if I'm not productive, I hear the phrase "justify my existence" rattling around in my head sometimes.
Relaxing is self care, reading in the sun is good for your mind and body. If it lowers stress and enriches your day it's totally worth it. Heck, what's more indulgent than giving into alcoholism? If you're staying sober, you're doing something productive :-)