Thank you! I've decided to write him an email (whether I send it or not; I haven't decided yet) and try to put it all out there as rationally and nicely as possible. If nothing else, it should give me a starting place to set some boundaries.
I'm not willing to leave yet, but we both have a lot of work individually to do before we can even start working on "us". I can do my part and see if he picks up and does his. If he does, then maybe we can work with what's left and fix the damage.
At least this way if we don't make it, I can live with myself knowing I did everything "I" could, and I will be in a better place with me overall - no regrets or what-ifs. No sense leaving one bad situation on a whim and ending up in yet another one down the road, right? I am trying to pick someone to approach to be my sponsor and work the steps.
I can't even begin to express to everyone here how much of a god-send it has been to be able to come here and vent and receive not only a dose of reality but understanding. Thank you again!