Originally Posted by
Lingus 
I know I have addictions and abstinence is the only way to recover. I'm scared that I'm condemning myself to a life without choice, escape or vice and that I'll be bored and resentful. Why can I not be happy with the blessed life I have? Why is it not enough? Why am i compelled to act recklessly and risk the future of my family and myself?
Why?
Because you're stuck in an addictive cycle.
I get it. I spent a long, long time there. Eventually, I got beat up by my own choices and my own addiction to cause me enough desire to "want to" so that I'd take action and get a start.
Then, I began to see more reasons to want to.
I struggled and fell down a few times.... but eventually my desire to change combined with enough evidence of how GOOD life is in sobriety to bring about enough momentum that I truly, deeply, wanted to.
Now it's a matter of ensuring I stay focused on all those positive, wonderful, prevalent reasons that my life is so much better because of it.
YOU CAN DO IT. Keep trying to want to. Keep looking for reasons to want to. Keep making steps.....
