You know when I went to AA there was people there who had waaaaay worst problems than me lost everything, it made me question am I actually an alcoholic.... but but what I could Indentify with was my own association with alcohol, ok so I havent reached that stage where alcohol has ruined my entire life, my therapist said give it five years and the way you were drinking you could quite easily get to that stage, she said Ive caught it early. So... I guess I am a alcoholic... first stage i dunno or what? I dont want to lure myself into a false sense of security that I can manage my drinking... ive done that before and failed it lasts a couple a weeks then Im back to square one - a drunk. I need to remember that one drink leads me to become a drunk even if its not straight away eventually I will get drunk and that vicious cycle starts all over again.