The thing is, you can expect whatever you want, but expecting it doesn't make it so. I'm reminded of my son's driving instructor who told him to expect the other drivers to obey the law, but be prepared in case they don't.
We all have expectations of the people close to us, especially spouses. That does not automatically mean they live up to those expectations. There are really only two choices when it comes down to it. You either change your expectations, or change the role he plays in your life.
I wish I had the years back that I spent waiting for my husband to change into the husband I wanted.
L